Timeless Passion

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People change.

Time is a constant in our lives. More constant than ourselves.

Time makes us believe everything and everyone.

Time makes us wish that we could have the power to stop it, to feel the emotions and to be what we love for more seconds than the mere 5.

Time teaches us to run, to hide, to dive and to embrace life and love in all senses and sizes.

Time shows us how to give ourselves to people who makes us feel that we come first.

Time takes from us the hope of never being alone.

Time is our friend and it is our Yin Yang.

Time…a four letter word that will make you face your worst fears and make you run to yourself.

In the end, Time will be the only constant in your life and your everything.

Next Time you see me, i will not be the same and you will have changed.

Next time i see you, you will be you and i me.

Still, i will love you with each passing of Time.

And, Time will store my karma for the next life.

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An unhurried sense of time is in itself a sort of wealth. – 

Anja!

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One more for the road!

If you don’t love her now, when will you love her?
I’ll tell you when: when it’s too late.

I don’t want someone who will cherish and adore me. I want someone who will not belong to me but to himself. I want someone who is whole to himself and then open to love me as he loves himself.

Sometimes the hardest choices are the ones that we do not want to see.
There is always a choice in all that’s life.

I get away with so many things in my life that someday I will get away with murder….to my own soul!

One thing is happiness and the other peace.
Doing what makes you happy might not bring you peace.
But be in peace with what makes you happy might just work.

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Random Shots.

Every Woman wants to be loved, but before that (and yes there is a before), every Woman wants to be just that – a Woman.

Trying to understand Her? Why?

In reality it is a waste of precious time, because instead of doing that, just Love Her for everything that she is, that she isn’t, that she was and that she can become.

Remember that some doors, are not meant to be open, but contemplated.

I owe no explanations for my flaws. I don’t have to justify my mistakes, my past or my insecurities. I am growing and learning.

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Anja!

Rules of Engagement

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“Well you just haven’t met the guy, that’s why you don’t want to have kids YET.”

The woman I am becoming is outgrowing the idea of motherhood and growing into what I personally find more rewarding for my own life. Furthermore, I am able to make a world of progress as an individual without needing a man (as portrait by African society) to complete the process.

I am completely enamored with this idea of self even when i have to defend it.
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I don’t understand the majority of people giving me grief over not having babies nor wanting a wedding, especially considering the fact that i do not pass judgment nor i advise people to have them or do it.
Lesson of the Day – Truth is, happiness is a personal experience, as is fulfillment, sadness, and everything else about that completes a human being as a selfish entity. It’s tailored to you and your needs, and that’s a gift worth sharing.
For now, ill just share tea with it.
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A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble. – 

Anja!

One for the Weekend.

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Choices.

Saying goodbye never was my favorite thing to do. I guess that for no one is.

Goodbye means so many things and emotions, but for me it means leaving my comfort zone.

When we say goodbye and for any reason whatsoever, we are leaving something that we know and love (depending on the case, some really hate or are indifferent) onto other pastures, being green or not.

All my life i had a tiny bitsy negative feeling when it came to goodbye, but as time leaps into the future and i engage in so many adventures (Paris in the cold, Istanbul and baklava, China and its food, UK and its diversity, Chile and the wine, New York and a sense of freedom like no other) i come to slowly realize that goodbye is not a bad a word nor it is a bad feeling.

Just like death goodbye transforms itself into a new adventure every time you say it. For people who believe in reincarnation (The word “reincarnation” derives from Latin, literally meaning, “entering the flesh again”. The Greek equivalent metempsychosis(μετεμψύχωσις) roughly corresponds to the common English phrase “transmigration of the soul” and also usually connotes reincarnation after death,[7] as either human, animal) a goodbye in death is a hello in another life, being it a camel or a flower.

I have said my goodbyes and rarely dealt with it in the past, but one day…BOOM!! Either you face it or you drag it like many other older bags in your shoulder, slowing down that growing process that we are entitled as humans.

For me, today, goodbye is an adventure beyond my comprehension, a voyage that i gladly take it with my both hands and treat it as “you are my BFF”.

No no, i am not saying goodbye to the blog world, yet! But acknowledging the strength of the word and the positive vibe it has in life if we all let it flow.

We think we are in control but we are not. Things will happen, decisions will be made, Nature will decide which course to cruise its ship and if we will eventually need a Noah´s Arc.

For now i accept goodbye as part of life and growth.

“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. – 

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Anja!

Ego Mischief’s

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Its that time of the year again, when all goes around without remorse.

OK, i am getting ahead of myself (again) and it seems confusing doesn’t it?

Let me tell you a story, it is a story about a horse.

What exactly do you learn when you fall of a horse, correction, a galloping horse and a terrified human being in it, aka, yours truly here.

Now, i did not wake up on that horse, but i did leave my comfort zone and falling of it was perhaps the best thing that has ever happen to me.

So here we are, me and the bestie at Easter Island and all excited because we left the best for last – riding horses and seeing the view from another perspective.

We schedule our infamous adventure for 7/8 am and promptly the guide comes to pick us up in his old beat up truck and worn out hat, and he only spoke Spanish with a heavy accent due to his local language – Rapa Nui.

Suffice to say that i only speak Portuguese and English, and understand fairly Spanish. So, i was glad that i was accompanied by two Chileans, which did not make that much of a difference (hahaha i needed to laugh here).

To see and explore the beauty of Easter Island on a horse is a typical Rapa Nui experience, and it is also a way to preserve the ecosystem. And me and bestie were excited to ride a horse after so many years without doing it. Remember, so many years without doing it!!!!

I was laughing when i got into that truck, i was making jokes and felling all courageous and adventurous and a bit presumptuous because i had once ridden a horse.

It is important to understand an important aspect about me – i seldom lie to myself about my flaws and weaknesses and even when i make an “ass” of myself.

When we got to the site, I saw them and how the guide choose a big one for me (i wonder why…sarcasm in here) and i was happy. Did i need help mounting? No, because i had it! Famous last words.

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And there we went trotting our way (actually the horses way because they were well trained) into the woods and paths and it was frankly amazing.

I felt the horse and i was so sure that he felt me that i forgot to remember that.

When we were climbing a small hill, my horse decided to follow my bestie´s horse who starting galloping and that’s when the internet broke! I panicked and starting shouting her and my horse to stop, forgetting that the more i shouted the more my horse would gallop.

RESULT – I fell like a sack of potatoes, i hit my back and stopped breathing for a couple of seconds and believe me that is not funny!!! I still remember the feeling and it does not make me happy.

BUT, along that process of breathing, getting up, getting in that horse´s back again i choose not to be angry at the horse nor at me. It was not his or my fault, it was just meant to happen.

I decided that i did want to get on that horse again, but after a couple of minutes on it i changed my mind and decided to walk and that’s when i had an epiphany on which it was clear to me that certain lessons, that i have learned, are not going to be written in a book or have guidelines, they will appear in your life and smack you down hard. With that fall i learned:

  • not to get instantly angry when things don’t go my way,
  • to accept that there are things in life that we cannot manipulate and that people make mistakes and that is why we love them,
  • that as much as you are connected with someone, we must never forget that humans will be humans and that they will change with time and experiences we cannot be mad at it,
  • that comfort zones are amazing when you need them, but you cannot live in them,
  • that security is an illusion and that we all live in this bubble of misconceptions that we can actually change the world,
  • that we cannot change the world, but we can be small changes that we see in our own world,
  • that the horse was sadder than me and i needed to comfort him more than myself,
  • that i am in control of my life and nothing else.

Today, when i tell the story of me falling from that horse people laugh and roll their eyes as in, you are kidding. No i am not.

It was a joy falling of that sweet horse for which i will thank him until i cannot remember the feel of my breathe not reaching my lungs.

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F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours. – 

Anja!

Loose Words – I

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“The culture doesn’t encourage you to think about such things until you’re about to die. We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family. having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks – we’re involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don’t get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, is this all? Is this all I want? Is there something missing?” -Morrie Schwartz

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It continues in Africa.

I really wanted to write a piece about the new resolutions for the Year as if the previous ones were all done and closed. But sadly or happily, No. image3

2014/3/2 resolutions are still high and rocking the boat. They are still pending for one or other reason and to be quite honest they will always be pending, because it is not about resolutions anymore, it is more about being present in your own life mindfully.

So yes, resolutions can be objectives (as in buy a car, a house, a new phone, etecetera) as well as choices of life which can entail, adopting a dog, volunteer work in an animal shelter, reading, dancing. Basically everything that makes you part of the energy of the Universe.

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Now, the most interesting part of it are bold resolutions and they actually vary from person to person. My perception of boldness is quite interesting because bold for me is not bunging jumping but actually reading a book that messes up with my emotions so strongly that i shut down for days.

So, forthwith with the resolutions (at least mine):

A BAD HABIT I’M GOING TO BREAK

Procrastinating my happiness – does it count? I believe it does. Every little thing we do in life brings us some kind of happiness/joy. Eating a pancake with no remorse, riding a horse and falling from it and not blaming the horse, saving a small ant, among other things, if we do it without manipulating the course of it and the end, it might just work well.

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A NEW SKILL I’D LIKE TO LEARN

This is the on-going type for me. I have started learning Tango last year and it has been 4 months. I have successfully stopped stepping on my teacher´s toes and surprise my dance partners with some savvy moves. Not bad for a 4 month old dancer 🙂 . I am actually proud of myself.

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A PERSON I HOPE TO BE MORE LIKE

Nobody. Seriously, there was a time that i wanted to be more like one of my friends (aggressive worker, bold presenter, goal minded person) and it did not work. And then i wanted to be more like my father, and it did not work either. You see, with time you realize that what you are and what you make of yourself is good and enough for you. What surrounds your comfort zone is what keeps you from experiencing true adventure of the senses. So, i hope not to be like anyone else but myself!

A GOOD DEED I’M GOING TO DO

Ah! This is a tricky one. What is a good deed? What society defines as a good deed and what do you feel is a good deed? I wont give examples of my good deeds because frankly i do not “brag” about them. I will just keep them for myself and turn them into good habits and not sporadic moments of lucidity.

A PLACE I’D LIKE TO VISIT

This is so easy as my bucket list is empty and waiting to be filled by new Google maps! But mainly this year, is reserved for South Africa (Wineries of course), Western Europe (the Pizza and the Ice Cream) and Tanzania-Zanzibar (Most amazing beaches in the World).

Zanzibar

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A BOOK I’D LIKE TO READ

This one is tricky, it could easily be a book or a movie, but i would like to read (and finish) Mindful Eating, Mindful Life – Nhat Hanh (which entails the age-old Buddhist practice of mindfulness—that is, of being fully aware of all that is going on within ourselves and all that is happening around us.

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A LETTER I’M GOING TO WRITE

This is one of the resolutions that it never ends. I started practicing Hoʻoponopono, which is mantra cleaning meditations prayers: I am sorry Please forgive me I love you I thank you. Not only do i say it out loud but i write it also. If i am ever angry, frustrated, irritated with someone i put it in a piece of paper everything that i am writing, with the exact words that i am feeling. After i finish writing it i set it on fire. I do not re-read it, as this can prevent me from letting go of my anger and all my negative feelings.I am sorry Please forgive me I love you I thank you.

A NEW FOOD I’D LIKE TO TRY

Italian Pizza and Ice Cream! Ok, so perhaps it is not new but it is something i have never tried so i shall enjoy myself in it.

Italian-pizza-oven1Historic photo from the Carpigiani ice-cream museum, Italy

I’M GOING TO DO BETTER AT

Choosing blog themes &

Being myself. And no one else!

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Me trying to defuse the cold at the Geysers in Atacama-Chile

So, here it is. My small on-going list of resolutions for 2015 and beyond.

Do you have one? Would you like to have one? Does it matter to you?

“Focus is a matter of deciding what things you’re not going to do.” – John Carmack

Anja!

Oh By the way – Happy New Year

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It is actually the small things that count. And i have been proven that countless times.

One small thing, was actually a moment. It was an acceptance speech and the light in people´s eyes when you finally see that you can do it, you have more than talent, you have the heart to do it.

When you spend half of your life deciding if you are worth the gift it was given to you, and then spend the other half hiding it, suddenly the Day comes, the moment, a certain curvature of time that it will make it all come to light.

Here i am in the middle of a busy Monday work day on which i stopped working to write this post, to actually put words in my mouth and whisper them to this keyboard. Perhaps it is the influence of La Traviata playing in my ears now, or the 2 long weeks (holidays) after Christmas and New Years Eve, or even so, the fact that writing is becoming more important than laws and procedures.

I came to understand that the most important aspect of writing is keep it simple and understandable and do not mess with the vocabulary. You can write from back to front, middle to front and in between a black hole, as long as the words are correctly spelled.

And here i go, taking a stroll in Neverland. No, it was not my intention to wander away in this beautiful world that i share with you.

The moment, let me get back to the moment, when destiny was distracted and it introduced me to a great Opera Tenor who in turn took his precious time to listen and asked me to sing again, and again and again.

My first impression was “I am doing this all wrong”, ” maybe he is trying to show me how wrong i am”, “look at these people looking at me”, “i need to make an excuse now and stop” . . . But i didn’t, i just smiled and laughed because it felt right, it felt good.

And when you realize that you are doing something with love (besides loving it), all comes into place exactly as it should since the day you were born.

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The beauty of everything in life is when you feel Love. From all the studies i have been doing, all the questions about life and people, everything, even what does not exist, points to an obvious (unappreciated by most power hungry humans) answer: LOVE.

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much. – 

Oh by the way – Happy New Year

By Anja!